you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
