She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
