True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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