The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
