i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
operation harelip BJ is a go
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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