This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
