i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
