Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
