is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
