he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
