Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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