I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You ate ashes out of my bong
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
