Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
