ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Randomize
