FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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