i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Randomize
