Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
