Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
