Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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