Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
