she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
