Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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