Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize