Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
