what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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