you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
