Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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