There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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