i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
are you so shy because you have an std?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
