after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
