No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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