Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
