ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
