i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
