It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
