my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize