You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
