Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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