i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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