he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Randomize
