The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
He did a backflip because drugs
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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