What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize