then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
