how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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