So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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