I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
