you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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