sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
