There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
