OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
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