you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
