on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
