i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Less talking, more tequila
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
