you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
A bitchslap is in order.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
