My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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