"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
