Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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