Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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