wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
