Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(540): View more from Virginia

This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.

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(951): View more from California

ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am

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(571): View more from Virginia

i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.

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(314): View more from Missouri

I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.

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(778): View more from British Columbia

We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit

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(307): View more from Wyoming

I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...

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(757): View more from Virginia

A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.

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