There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
