After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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