sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize