I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
