i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
