Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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