he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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