I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
