my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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