I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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