I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
When are your genitals available?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
