But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
