the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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