That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize