also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
