Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
